I must be too annoying 4 u.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
