I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
