Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
