very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It was confusing and full of hummus
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
