Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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