How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
