Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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