Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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