My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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