yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
