doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
