So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize