he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
