I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
