He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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