so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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