Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
