Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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