I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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