I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
