I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
