: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
