She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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