i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
