u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
