dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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