So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
