dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
