were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
