we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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