I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
