sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
