Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
