My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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