I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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