i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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