My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
