Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Fuck me I smell like cheese
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
