the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
