You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
