Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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