Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
