so explain again why im purple
no
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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