I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
4 words: hood of his car
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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