babies were throwing up all over the place
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
