are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
