Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
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