I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
