We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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