woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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