i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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