Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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