I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
