..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize
