That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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