Don't you send me to vm
Michael Bay diarrhea
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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