Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
All I want is dick and wine.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize