'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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