just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
