this boner is exhausting
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
just found out that she named her cat after me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
did you just send me my own nude
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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