she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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