Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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