My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
