I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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