yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
