Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
